What is Polyamory?

Polyamory, a term rooted in the Greek 'poly' (many) and Latin 'amor' (love), refers to the practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships with the consent of all parties involved. This can range from throuples, a committed relationship among three people, to more complex networks where one might date someone who has another partner, and so forth. The configurations are as varied as the people who practice them, but the core principle remains: openness and consent.

A Dive into the Polyamorous World

Back in 2018, I was living the fast-paced lifestyle of San Francisco's famed gay mecca — a whirl of parties, fleeting connections, and a vibrant hookup culture. Yet, beneath the glittering surface, I craved something different. Something deeper.

Then, one ordinary day turned extraordinary when I met Jonathan on a dating app. He was an intriguing blend of artistic spirit, and though he was already in a committed relationship with his 'primary' partner, my monogamous inclinations made me curious about this new dynamic. In polyamory, a primary partner often refers to a main or significant relationship among multiple connections.

I'd always thought of myself as staunchly monogamous. The idea of sharing a romantic partner was unfamiliar territory for me, almost a hard no. But then, curiosity — that tricky little thing — got the better of me.

Jonathan was a whirlwind of creativity, singing, dancing, living with an intensity that fascinated me. His primary partner, a mirror of his passion, only added to the allure. As a logical, critical thinker, my life had always been ruled by pragmatism. But here I was, drawn into a world where love wasn't finite but infinite.

The Heart of the Matter

The dynamic was captivating at first. I was introduced to the concept that love, much like attention to hobbies and passions, could be divided and yet whole. Jonathan compared his ability to love multiple people to how he distributed his passion between his art forms — all different, all consuming, all loved. I tried to follow this philosophy, to see love as a boundless entity, but the practical part of me struggled.

As our relationship progressed, I met his partner. Wonderful, passionate, but not someone I could see myself in a relationship with. This was my polyamorous litmus test: could I engage equally with both? The answer was a resounding no. My heart, it seemed, was stubbornly monogamous.

The Double Date and The Realization

A turning point came with a double date — Jonathan, his partner, his partner's new beau, and myself. It was supposed to be fun, a new experience. And it was, but underneath the shared popcorn and whispered jokes, I felt an unmistakable desire of longing. Longing for simplicity, for an undivided love that was mine and mine alone.

I left that relationship soon after. Not with bitterness, but with a new understanding of myself and of others. Polyamory, I realized, was an art form in itself, suited to those who could transcend traditional boundaries of love and relationship. Perhaps it was meant for the creative souls, unbound by conventional logic.

Final Thoughts

In the end, my journey through the polyamorous landscape taught me about the vast spectra of human relationships. For some, love truly is infinite, stretching and morphing to encompass as many as the heart will allow. For others, like myself, it is more singular, though no less profound.

Whether polyamory can be learned or not isn't a question with a simple answer. It's about the capacity of the heart, the openness of the mind, and the courage to challenge societal norms. For me, the path led back to monogamy, but for you? Only your heart can tell.